He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
