Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize