the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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