I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
In other news, I just burned my penis
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize