also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
