Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
