Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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