ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
