A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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