We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We left the knife in your bed.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
