Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
