What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
