Don't you send me to vm
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
