just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
