some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
