just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
