He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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