when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
