youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
