Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
