ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize