take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
