Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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