just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
