i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
