Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
