i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
