i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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