Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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