I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
