I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
