His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
