Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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