I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
