He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
