I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
