i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
