Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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