yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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