There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
