Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
