Whod you bang
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
