You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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