Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
