school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
