He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
