I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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