I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
