hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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