I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
