Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
