Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize