Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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