he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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