it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
