I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
