I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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