Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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