On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I cut my penus on the lid.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize