5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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