I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
