She is in my trunk
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
