omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
