3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
