the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
