it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
