is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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