Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
