Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
