he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I am spending my child support on dildos
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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