They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize