What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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