you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
