she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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