i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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