We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
